The insecurities at work come into play. At 43, I have nothing to prove. Actually, I am already a candidate to become a member of a group called "biding their time". and waiting for retirement to come. But that is not my nature.
I am a very pro-active person. I can make people move. I challenge the norms. I motivate people to work kahit hindi ko sila mga tao. I have foresight. I am keen on strategy. And most of people, I am a stiff and stubborn negotiator of contracts.
Even without trying, I overperform. Not that outstanding. But definitely more than what one calls "meeting the standards". And surely, I expect a reward in the form of a rating. Syempre. Consciously or unconsciously, andun yong expectations palagi. Bakit naman hindi? I toil because 1) I am fulfilled, 2) I know that I will be rewarded, 3) It is a job to be done for the company. But sometimes, reality sinks in. Hindi palaging ganun. There are realities that are hard to accept. I am a performance based person. I do not follow norms because I know that one has to extend the limit of up to what can one do. Beyond the scope. Beyond the realities. Dapat me added-value. But the corporate world is an ingrate. It does not work that way.
I am frustrated and disappointed at the way things happen. I feel bad because after all the efforts had been given and one is not given a deserving reward. I feel sad because it is my fault.
Starting tomorrow, I shall perform a work that is satisfactorily. Done in an efficient manner. Basta I just meet the standards. I have to live to that rating. Or else people will say that I do not deserve it. nakakahiya naman if i overperform and yet my rating is satisfactory.
Tomorrow, people will notice a big change. A transformation from an star performer to an average worker. Why give extra when one is not rewarded? That will be my advocacy. That will be my future direction. I shall wade my time until I am entitled to my optional retirement. And after that, goodbye to the corporate world. I shall be free from doing the work of others. Let them do the work. Let them toil. And I will just give them just enough to finish the job.
No added-value. No more competition. At least, in the next rating, hindi na sila mahirapan pa. Surely, I have low-morale now. Anger? It will come in later. Delayed ang reaction ko palagi. Until it sinks deep, I will not feel it now. Sa susunod siguro. At least ako, I will not be disappointed. I will just say that I deserve it truly.
That is the reality. And I hate it. And at my age, I do not want to play a martyr. I have nothing to lose if I do not overextend. I will just play it safe and just do my work normally.
I am a very pro-active person. I can make people move. I challenge the norms. I motivate people to work kahit hindi ko sila mga tao. I have foresight. I am keen on strategy. And most of people, I am a stiff and stubborn negotiator of contracts.
Even without trying, I overperform. Not that outstanding. But definitely more than what one calls "meeting the standards". And surely, I expect a reward in the form of a rating. Syempre. Consciously or unconsciously, andun yong expectations palagi. Bakit naman hindi? I toil because 1) I am fulfilled, 2) I know that I will be rewarded, 3) It is a job to be done for the company. But sometimes, reality sinks in. Hindi palaging ganun. There are realities that are hard to accept. I am a performance based person. I do not follow norms because I know that one has to extend the limit of up to what can one do. Beyond the scope. Beyond the realities. Dapat me added-value. But the corporate world is an ingrate. It does not work that way.
I am frustrated and disappointed at the way things happen. I feel bad because after all the efforts had been given and one is not given a deserving reward. I feel sad because it is my fault.
Starting tomorrow, I shall perform a work that is satisfactorily. Done in an efficient manner. Basta I just meet the standards. I have to live to that rating. Or else people will say that I do not deserve it. nakakahiya naman if i overperform and yet my rating is satisfactory.
Tomorrow, people will notice a big change. A transformation from an star performer to an average worker. Why give extra when one is not rewarded? That will be my advocacy. That will be my future direction. I shall wade my time until I am entitled to my optional retirement. And after that, goodbye to the corporate world. I shall be free from doing the work of others. Let them do the work. Let them toil. And I will just give them just enough to finish the job.
No added-value. No more competition. At least, in the next rating, hindi na sila mahirapan pa. Surely, I have low-morale now. Anger? It will come in later. Delayed ang reaction ko palagi. Until it sinks deep, I will not feel it now. Sa susunod siguro. At least ako, I will not be disappointed. I will just say that I deserve it truly.
That is the reality. And I hate it. And at my age, I do not want to play a martyr. I have nothing to lose if I do not overextend. I will just play it safe and just do my work normally.
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